Affability is a Virtue
With the Fleur-de-Lis Gala coming up this Saturday, March 5, our students have been hard at work preparing for our annual fundraiser. They are the hosts of this event, and hospitality is a hallmark of Chesterton Academy. One of our teachers, Ms. Clare Fletcher, teaches her theology classes that affability is a virtue. We invite you to read more about her thoughts on this subject below:
We are bound together, we human beings.
Everyone belongs, but not everyone knows it. “We are naturally every man’s friend.” (Aquinas)
One fellow’s bad day can suddenly be everyone’s bad day. But if just one person is smiling in the hallway… most often, everyone else follows suit. In fact, studies show that the effect on the brain of seeing one person smiling at you is equivalent to that of finding a free million dollars on the street. The brain’s automatic response is to smile in return. You’d have to make a conscious effort to not smile!
Affability – the virtue of friendliness or agreeability. It is a kind of “mutual well-wishing” that binds a city together. It’s not quite friendship. It doesn’t have to involve any affection at all really. It’s the middle ground between being overly agreeable (flattery – being a ‘yes’ man) and being the sort to always pick a fight, even when no one wants to (quarrelsomeness). It’s when you conform yourself to those around you, to their likes, their interests, their needs, and what they want to talk about.
Sirach 4:7 commands one to “make yourself affable”. Chesterton himself tells us that God’s great secret is His mirth, which every saint intuitively knows.
And if we are the Chesterton Saints, then we ought to listen carefully to St. Teresa of Avila who prays that the Lord “save me from sour-faced saints”. Aristotle says, “No one could abide a day with the sad, nor with the joyless.” We don’t need any more bored, gloomy, mediocre people. We need interested, lively, joyful saints! And when we fall in the ‘awkward conversation’ mud beside the road, let us look to heaven and laugh with the same Teresa, “If this is how you treat your friends, no wonder you have so few.” Mother Teresa said, “A smile is the beginning of love.” So, let’s smile at whatever he sends our way this Saturday.
As I watched the gala training begin today, all I could think is, these are young people who will be a delight to be around. Whether making friends, networking for a job, or simply need a hand with that question on the study guide before a test (but none of your study buddies are around), the virtue of affability is pivotal!
Affability is the simple act of looking at the people around you and thinking, “These people are worth knowing. They’re worth meeting. No one’s story is boring, though they don’t always tell me their whole adventure, but I get to get to know the treasures of this person in this moment. What do you have for me with this person tonight, Lord? What do you need me to give them? What will they bring to me from You?”
And, frankly, even more than the treasure hunting, we get to begin to pay off the debt we owe to these people. It’s the whole community! Beyond practicing a vital life skill, the gala is a night on which to rejoice and celebrate in gratitude. “Gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.” (GKC) Look around. See the great gift you have been given! Wonder at it! And smile!
- Ms. Clare Fletcher